Nowadays, it seems as though marriage is a hot topic of discussion and different ideas are raised like "There are not enough good Black Men" to "Marriage is a tradition that is on the decline". This is definitely not the seventies and things have changed but a lot of young black folks are still getting married and for the ladies that can't seem to get to that promised land of matrimony, here are a few reasons why Mr. Right has not come knocking yet.
- You're too High maintenance - This in my opinion is the leading cause of women getting old without getting wifed up. The truth is that most black men are very insecure with their financial status these days due to the global economic crisis and they would hesitate to approach a woman who looks like she is a manikin for Gucci or Christian Loubintin. We don't want a woman who will spend all of our life savings trying to be a fashionista but instead we want a very conservative woman who can help manage the family finances and raise our kids beyond materialism.
- Your attitude stinks - Black men generally want peace at home simply because we face major bullshit everywhere else outside our home, so the last thing we need is a woman with an attitude problem. So ladies, if you are dating a man and your bad attitude comes out frequently then he is probably going to hit it and quit it asap. We want loving and caring women who have done all their soul-searching prior to meting us and not women who just seem to be mad at everything around them.
- You have no Class - This is strictly from an educated and progressive black man's point of view because some dudes don't seem to care much about this especially when they have no class themselves. However, if I am worried that you will embarrass me when I take you to a function or you will make my friends laugh at me because you lack class, then i'm probably going to delete you number asap. I mean really, who wants a classless woman to begin with. So read a book or magazine and start to carry yourself in a better way.
- You're too desperate - With age comes desperation for single women simply because their clock is ticking but ladies please "take a chill pill" when you meet a new guy and let things flow. Do not start discussing marriage withing two months of meeting the dude because most likely you will push him away except he is as desperate as you and that itself is a very bad thing. Take time to get to know him and learn about each other rather than planning a wedding in your head the moment you meet him. I have argued this with a few of my single 30 year old female friends and they keep telling me that it's not as easy as I think and I told them that no man wants to feel rushed into marriage of all things so even if they are justified but the man perceives it as desperation then he would bail.
- You're not a HUSTLER - This is the biggest reason why most women are not married in my opinion because men don't like to talk about it much but we do think about it. Black men are lagging behind in the income department these days (actually always) so if we run into a woman who is a hustler (Lawyer, DOCTOR, business woman, pharmacist), we do the math immediately in our heads and the numbers look good so we do whatever it takes to keep that woman. Take me for instance, I earn a six figure salary and say there are two ladies, one makes $120,000 and the other is currently working as a waitress or hair dresser, who do you really think my brain will tell me to choose for marriage assuming other criteria are similar?
These are just five reasons why ladies are not yet married and another five reasons will be released shortly. Do you agree or disagree?
I agree with 2 and 4 ONLY! Nice blog
ReplyDelete..Pls....preach to our ladies to help themselves...bc they believe dat guys are their problem instead they'r real problem...nice points.!
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